


and now i'm standing on this ledge alone

by emmel23



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst, I don't even remember writing this though, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentioned Kelly Olsen - Freeform, Mentioned Nia Nal, SuperCorp, There is death, am I supposed to?, death isn't shown so I didn't put warnings, no happy ending, supercorp deserves better but whatever I need pain, this hurt to write, well I'm warning you now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29182200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmel23/pseuds/emmel23
Summary: It was a regular mission. It was almost routine at this point. The Sun-Eater is threatening the planet again and Supergirl's supposed to save the day.But then everything goes wrong.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (check the additional tags please, there is a warning)
> 
> The title is inspired by acquario's poem.

Kara yelped when her sister, Alex, pulled her into a bear hug. She smiled into her shoulder and squeezed her back just as tight.

“I will see you later tonight,” Alex said, pulling away. “Don’t you dare miss sisters' night.”

Kara punched her playfully in the arm. “I won’t, don’t worry.”

J’onn walked up to them and leaned over to give Kara his hug. “The Sun-Eater is dangerous. Be careful, Supergirl.”

“But don’t let it succeed!” Brainy yelled from across the room. “Or we will all die.”

“No pressure.” A woman’s voice called out from the doorway.

Kara whipped her head around and her smile grew. “Lena!”

She must’ve run towards her pretty hard because she heard a grunt come out of Lena. She was worried that she might’ve hurt her but Lena’s emerald eyes sparkled in amusement.

“You weren’t going to head into space without saying goodbye to me first, were you?” Lena raised an eyebrow at her.

“Uh,” Kara stuttered. “No! No, of course not.”

She heard Alex disguise a laugh as a cough and she turned to glare at her. She felt her face redden when she looked back at Lena and saw her teasing smile. 

“You should get going within the next minute,” Brainy warned.

Kara looked around at all of her friends that were there. She bit her lip when she remembered the rest of the group that couldn’t make it, something about their normal job. Her eyes finally landed on Lena and she felt her heart pound against her chest. 

“It’s just like any other mission,” Kara said, trying to ease the tension. “I’ll be back soon.”

In a second, she sped out of the room and was hurtling towards the stratosphere. Her heart was calm for a few long seconds, thinking about nothing except for the cool air hitting her face. She always enjoyed flying and she almost smiled but she remembered that the world would end if she didn’t stop the Sun-Eater.

The Earth was behind her now and she could see the monster slowly heading straight towards the Sun. She sped after it but she was distracted by the stars. She’d been to space before, more than two decades ago, but she had felt terrified instead of amazed. Now, her eyes glazed over as the stars shone bright and proud and it reminded her of Lena’s eyes.

Kara snapped herself out of it and tailed the Sun-Eater. She looked at the small device in her hand through the glass of her spacesuit. It was made by Lena but she never really explained what it was for. She had only told Kara to throw it at the alien and Kara listened without question.

Kara and the Sun-Eater were both getting closer to the Sun now and Kara felt panic rise in her chest. If she screwed up, she’d never see her family again. She made a quick decision to slam into the alien’s side. The Sun-Eater wriggled and Kara was sure it tried to make a disgusting noise. She did a good job startling it and it tumbled for a bit before regaining its composure. It continued to head for the giant flaming ball.

Seeing there was no other choice, she heaved the blue device at the alien. She let out a relieved sigh when she saw that she had hit her target perfectly. She felt a force pull her slightly backward but she stayed still, watching the Sun-Eater shrink. 

_Oh, nice_ , Kara thought happily. 

The Sun-Eater kept shrinking until there wasn’t even a spec to look at. Kara smiled, feeling a sense of accomplishment, and tried to head back to Earth. Before she could, the tugging sensation grew stronger and she tried to fight against it. 

“Supergirl?” Someone’s voice came through the coms. “Why is your signal flashing on and off? What’s happening?”

“I don’t-” Kara tried to reply but she was sucked backward so forcefully she lost consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara finds herself in a familiar place.

Kara heard her breath against her suit’s helmet and she struggled to open her eyes. When she was finally able to pry them open, she took in a sharp breath. 

She felt an immense amount of pressure pushing up against her. The colors around her varied from a light pink to a bright green. The stars seem to be glowing in the distance but the image looked warped. Kara opened her mouth to speak but she couldn’t hear anything anymore, even inside her helmet. 

Kara looked around and realized that she wasn’t anywhere near Earth. She wasn’t in the same solar system at all. The invisible force must’ve dragged her much farther than she had originally thought. She felt panicked but she remembered that she could just fly back easily.

She held out her arms for balance and willed her body to move. It didn’t. She tried again and again but she was stuck in the same place. Now, she was beyond terrified. There was no yellow sun and it clicked that she didn’t have her powers.

The situation seemed all too familiar and she realized with a jolt that it was like the time she was stuck in a time vortex all those years ago. Time had seemed like it didn’t exist because it didn’t. Years could be passing now and Kara wouldn’t know. She could be stuck there for a few minutes, a few days, or a few decades.

Kara fought back tears when she thought about how the years of Earth were probably passing without her. This could’ve been, what, 2046? 2021? The year 3000? The tears threatened to drip off of her chin when the fact that everyone she knew could be dead now hit her. She sobbed soundlessly, as she watched the colors in front of her change.

The bright green faded until it was a lighter green, something close to the color of the sea but not quite. Kara sniffled and tried to let out a whimper when the image of Lena flashed across her mind. Green always reminded her of Lena.

She remembered when they first became friends. The first time she met Lena, she had been so scared, so intimidated. When she got to know her, she couldn’t help but love her. She thought back to the times when they had gotten into small arguments, silly things like who was the most powerful Jedi or which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was the best. She thought back to all of the times they had hugged and she remembered their last hug. It was the last time she had held her and Kara wished she was back on Earth with her best friend in her arms again.

Then, Kara remembered her sister. She remembered the day she arrived on Earth the first time and how much she didn’t like living with Alex the first year. She thought back on  _ their _ fights, which were usually more aggressive than the ones she had with Lena. She remembered all of the trips she used to have with Alex and how she’d sneak Alex out of the house sometimes so that they could fly to France for thirty minutes, just enough time to get dessert. 

Kara remembered J’onn and Brainy. She remembered Nia, Maggie, and Sam. She couldn’t help but bawl when she thought back on the memories she had with them. All of the nights they had to stay awake, even though they were exhausted, because they had to take down a villain first. She thought back to all of the times they had each others’ backs whenever they fought a criminal.

She remembered her family on Earth and she remembered her old family, the one she lost on Krypton. Kara became more angry than sad when she thought about how much she’s lost. Maybe a minute hasn't even passed on Earth, yet, but it could also be ten years later. She could have lost a decade with the people she loved the most. She never even got the chance to tell Lena she loved her.

Kara’s eyesight was blurry from the crying and she screamed as loud as she could. When there wasn’t any sound, she tried to scream louder. She didn’t stop until her throat hurt and she was sure it had started to bleed. 

She was about to close her eyes, wanting to sleep and ignore the pain she felt in her chest, but she felt the pressure around her drop. Suddenly, she was pushed forward and she clenched her eyes shut in pain. It felt like her brain was about to explode and she could feel her ears pop even though she still couldn’t hear anything. The pressure around her body was increasing drastically, squeezing her intestines so hard she could barely breathe. Finally, the pressure completely vanished and her eyeballs stopped bouncing around in her head. The splitting headache and dizziness were starting to fade and she cautiously opened her eyes.

That was a mistake. The pressure picked up again but it didn’t hurt as much this time when Kara was flung around. She felt a surge of strength flow through her and she realized she must be near a yellow sun. Kara felt all of the pressure unexpectedly let go of her and she felt herself tumbling downwards. She kept her eyes shut, terrified of what could possibly be happening. It felt like minutes had passed, but it probably had been just five seconds, and Kara finally slammed into a hard surface. 

Kara groaned in pain loudly and she was surprised when she actually heard something. Her ears were ringing awfully loud, though, and her head felt like it had been thrown around like a football in an Atlanta Falcons game. She opened her eyes but she closed them again when the light blinded her. Kara tried to get up but pain immediately shot through her entire body and she collapsed. She opened her eyes to a slit carefully but black spots danced across her eyes and she blacked out within a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need happy books. There are too many dystopian novels.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara blinked, stirring, and immediately yelled out painfully. A bright yellow light was shining directly into her eyes and she was sure it wasn’t a sun.

“She’s awake!” A man’s voice called out.

Kara heard a shuffle of feet and she felt someone lean over her. 

“Kara?” A familiar voice said.

She slowly opened her eyes, wincing at the light. She tilted her head and she had to bite her lip from yelling out in pain again.

They said something again but Kara couldn’t focus. Her sister’s chocolate brown eyes were staring at her. They looked tired, aged, and Kara froze. All of her hope that she was home in the right time disappeared.

Alex was wearing a formal suit as if she was a businesswoman instead of a DEO agent. The lines around her eyes were dark and etched into her skin, making the light in her eyes stand out even more. Kara noticed the grey in her sister’s hair and she had to force herself to not burst into tears.

“Kara,” Alex said, her voice breaking.

Hearing Alex’s voice crack was too much and Kara broke down, sobbing into Alex’s chest. Kara heard Alex cry with her and her heart clenched in pain. When they finally pulled away, they saw that they were left alone in the room.

“Oh my god, Kara!” Alex cried and pulled Kara into a bear hug. “I- Oh my god.”

Kara watched as Alex started to sob again and she struggled to not tear up. “Alex, what- how did- How long…?”

Alex wiped the tears off of her face and shook her head as if the thought was too depressing. Kara noticed the gentleness of her sister’s old features, the wrinkles didn’t hide her soft face well. She pulled Kara into a hug again and Kara felt her bury her head into her shoulder but she didn’t complain. She hugged her sister back just as hard as if she was the one who hadn’t seen her in years. 

After a while, Alex pulled away and took a shaky breath. “You’re in the new headquarters. They upgraded a lot of stuff since- since you disappeared. I’m not the director anymore but my daughter, Linda, took over.”

“Director?” Kara asked, confused. “Daughter?”

Alex’s lips quivered. “You weren’t here. Right. Um, I was director for two decades but I resigned. My daughter, with Kelly, took over.”

Kara shook her head in disbelief. “Kelly…”

“Kelly Olsen. Maggie… we broke up a few years after- after the incident.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Kara mumbled sadly. “I can’t wait to meet her and Linda.”

Alex attempted a smile. “Everything changed after you- after you didn’t come back. We tried to hold up the city for a while but we couldn’t- it didn’t work without Supergirl. The city became chaotic after a few years and we just couldn’t keep it up anymore. We- I couldn’t do it without you.”

“I’m so sorry, Alex,” Kara swallowed. “I got sucked into a time vortex again, the Phantom Zone. I- I tried to come back but I couldn’t.”

Alex glanced up at her. “We realized that after a few hours but we couldn’t get to you. It’s not your fault. The city isn’t much better now but it’s livable. The others… most of them moved away when they quit being heroes.”

Kara’s eyes widened in surprise. “They moved? Who? Where?”

Kara watched as Alex took a few deep breaths before answering. “Nia moved back to her hometown. Heard she reinvented it and it’s doing pretty well now. I haven’t- well, we don’t really keep in touch these days. Brainy, he went back to his own time. I get random time-traveling messages from him sometimes. J’onn, he- he passed away fifteen years ago. Sam moved to Metropolis and she has a daughter now, Ruby. And Maggie, I haven’t heard from her since we broke up.”

It took her a while to process everything Alex just told her. Everyone was gone. J’onn was dead. Kara teared up at that, remembering how he was like a father to her and Alex. 

“Wait,” Kara started to say. “What about Lena?”

Alex tensed and a feeling of dread rushed crashed over Kara.

“She- Lena…” Alex stuttered. “Kara, I’m sorry. Lena died three years ago on the thirty-seventh anniversary of your disappearance.”

The words slammed into Kara and her heart dropped into her stomach. It felt like her airways were starting to close up and she placed a hand over her chest as if the pain was physical. The world spun and Kara clenched her eyes shut, hoping that she had somehow misheard her sister. A thousand thoughts popped into her head and she became lost in them.

She couldn’t grasp that fact. Kara wanted to scream, she wanted to yell at the sky about how she  _ just  _ saw Lena, alive and well. They had just hugged and they had just talked to each other. It was only minutes, hours at most, for her, but it was three and a half decades for Lena. Something in Kara broke when she remembered that she had never confessed to her how much she truly loved her. She started to weep, her tears pouring out of her uncontrollably. 

Kara’s head swarmed with images of Lena, from the first time she met her to the first time she forced her to watch her favorite Disney movie to the last time she looked at her. She started to tremble when she remembered their first hug. The contact had sent a similar shiver down Kara’s spine and it was that moment that Kara knew she loved Lena in a way that surpassed their friendship. And she never got to tell her.

“She never forgot you,” Alex spoke up. “She was the only one I really kept in contact with. She never stopped talking about you, caring about you, hoping you’d come back someday.”

Kara knew she was just trying to make her feel better but it didn’t help. She started to cry even harder but she calmed down enough to ask about Alex’s and Lena’s lives the last four decades.

“It was hard,” Alex admitted. “After we all separated, Lena and I didn’t know what to do. We grew close and we were there for each other always. We spent so many days and nights together, hoping for you to return.”

Before Kara could respond, Alex continued. “You promised me a sister's night that we never got. You promised Lena you’d come back. You promised us, you promised me, that you’d return.”

Kara would have protested that she hadn’t wanted that to happen but she knew Alex didn’t blame her. 

“How did- how did she…” Kara tried to find the right words.

“She got sick. She fought for a long time, Kara. She held onto hope that you’d be back before she died but she eventually passed the morning of the anniversary. I like to think it was a sign that she really loved you. Lena never moved on, she never got married. She never went past a first date.” Alex said sadly.

“I-I never got to tell her.” Kara felt a lump form in her throat and her voice was just over a whisper. “I thought I’d have time to but I never did.”

Alex reached over and hugged Kara tightly, her thumbs brushing over her back in reassurance. 

“I’m so sorry I was gone for so long,” Kara’s voice wavered. “I’m so sorry.”

Alex kissed her on the forehead and rested her head on Kara’s. “I’m sorry, too.”

After a while of holding on to her sister’s warmth, Kara finally spoke up. “Where…”

“Same place we buried dad,” Alex answered.

Kara pulled Alex into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. “I don’t want to lose you, Alex.”

All Alex could manage was a small smile. 

Kara glanced back at her sister before she flew towards the cemetery as if she was trying to savor every moment she had with her, which she was. 

Her heart pounded in her ears as she neared the cemetery. She still couldn’t imagine that Lena was just…  _ gone _ . It felt like a part of her was ripped out and thrown across the Pacific. The more she thought about Lena, the dizzier she felt. 

She landed in the middle of the graveyard to steady herself and tried to gather her thoughts. When she straightened up, she realized she was staring at Lena’s headstone. She started to shake uncontrollably and she dropped to her knees, heartbroken.

Kara began to crawl across the grass. She ran her fingers across the tombstone, tracing Lena’s name. She fell against the stone and broke down into tears. Her heart felt heavy and she screamed towards the sky, shouting she would give everything to see Lena again, to tell her how she really felt. 

She raised a hand and touched her own face, feeling the soft and young skin. She looked at Lena’s grave and she felt a surge of anger rush through her.

“ _IT’S NOT FAIR!_ ” Kara yelled at the top of her lungs. She kept yelling until her eyes started to glow, having accidentally activated her lasers.

When she couldn’t cry anymore, she collapsed and hugged Lena’s headstone. 

“Lena…” Kara whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I promised I’d come home but I didn’t.”

She wanted to cry again but her tear ducts were all dried out.

“Lena,” her voice broke. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry I never told you how much I love you. I love you so much, Lena. Please, come back to me. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't hurt too much, did it? 
> 
> Thanks for reading! And Happy Valentines Day (for love or whatever). I'll be posting something else soon (probably not soon).

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember writing this at all. As I said previously, I've written quite a few one-shots and short fics in between writing my own stuff. 
> 
> I just hope it's not as rocky as I think it is. I promise my writing is better now lmao.
> 
> And my word count sucks, I know. I'll update more frequently to make up for it.


End file.
